Saturday, 31 December 2011

Gloominess is Inevitable

Perhaps this is a gloomy perspective.  If you don't like gloominess, turn away now.  You still have time to close your browser, perhaps go find another person's more optimistic perspective on new years and new things.  Because this won't be cheerful.
Last year was spent being let down by people.  By numerous different people really: lovers, friends, parents.  It seems appropriate to reflect on last year at this moment, as we are on the cusp of another 365 days, the same kind of days masquerading as something different.  Last year, I lost count of how many times I'd been let down.
Maybe it's my own fault; maybe I expect too much.  Maybe I hold too much stock in other people.  Perhaps.  
This evening seems to be an accumulation of that sensation of falling.  Either the night will be fantastic (which, quite frankly, is rare) or it will flop and make you feel miserable.  You will either be let down by New Years, or it will surprise you and show up on time, roses and bubbly in hand.
This is rare.
But if there's anything I've learned from the past two years, it's that I can't depend on anyone.  Not an ex-lover or a current one, not a mother or a father, not a friend.  This is a gloomy realization, I know.  But it's New Years, so it's also time to think about how to change next year.
Resolution: Stop thinking that people will live up to your hopes.  Because they won't.

Now go celebrate.


  1. I've definitely had years like that. I know it can get better though! my life is nowhere near perfect but i am constantly surprised when things do work out now and equally so when they don't. I don't really have a point to my rambling, I just wanted to say you're not alone! i hope this new year brings some excitement over new possibilities.

  2. Freeing. Releasing yourself from what you are expecting of others - you don't have to rely on others to feel loved, joyous, exuberant, celebratory...
    I hope you get some quality time with your cat ;)